We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
