Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
