thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
