I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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