If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
