"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
