big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
