She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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