apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
