Do you still have your period?
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
