The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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