I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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