There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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