I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
