but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
