bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
