I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
