the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize