i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize