If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I want to make a zoo with you.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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