oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This baby is an asshole
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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