He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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