My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
