Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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