Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
