are you still at the devil's house?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she looked like the before picture.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
