And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize