so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
operation have a gay friend backfired
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
