if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
