So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
