Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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