can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
