last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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