The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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