Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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