okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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