so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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