90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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