Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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