your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize