if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's never too late to be topless.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
