Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
