we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize