I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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