I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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