dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
