i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize