Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
