yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
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