she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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