Cold hands, warm shart.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
