I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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