my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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