I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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