It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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