I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
