you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
