Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
