Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He felt like a one man threesome
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize