Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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