By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize