yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
