so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
