The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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